April 18: Third Sunday of Easter
In the Rehab Hospital where I work, many of our patients’ spouses end up becoming caregivers of their loved ones. Some do it well, some not so well.
Not long ago we had a patient whose husband was an ideal caregiver. He cared for his wife not only without complaining but also without all of the fuss and drama that often accompanies being the primary caregiver. This man worked only part-time so he could devote the rest of his time to his wife, a person with a lot of medical needs. I admired this man’s devotion to his wife, and I admired his ability to care for her with such simplicity and grace, and I told him so.
This man’s ability to care for his wife reminded me of what Jesus said to Simon Peter in today’s gospel. “Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go” (John 21:18).
I imagine that when the husband of this patient married her, he never dreamed that someday he would be required to give such all-consuming attention to his wife. I imagine the role of caregiver is not something he wanted for himself, yet he took on his responsibilities with good humor and patience.
In life, we are all called upon to do things that, given our druthers, we may not really want to do, but we choose to do these things out of love. We are called upon to go where we “do not wish to go.” The question is: can we do these things with simplicity and grace, or must we moan and groan and complain a lot?
Following through on the difficult choices we’ve made, in love, is not always easy, but it is one of the ways in which Jesus says to us, as he said to Simon Peter, “Follow me.”