About Spiritual Direction
Many of us are aware of a hunger for closeness with God that we experience deep within. What some of us don’t realize, however, is that just as we are searching for union with God, so God longs to draw us ever nearer [to Him/Her]. In fact, God uses all the events of our lives, even the everyday mundane ones, to communicate God’s presence to us. You could say that God wants to find us even more than we want to find God! Spiritual direction is the process of exploring with another individual our being “found” by God. When we are engaged in spiritual direction with another person, we are attempting to deepen our relationship with God by intentionally looking with that person at the many ways God speaks to us. Our whole lives are grist for the mill when we are engaged in spiritual direction, since God tries to be present to us in every facet of our existence.
Since one of the primary ways God speaks to us is through our emotions, careful attention is paid in spiritual direction to the feelings that arise within us as we sort through the various experiences of our lives. St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus, called this process the “Discernment of Spirits”. Our God is a God who desires wholeness and goodness for us and will always lead us, if we listen, to life-giving decisions. A good spiritual director will help us see the specific ways God might be calling us by pointing out those areas of our lives where we most feel joy, peace and love.
Even though spiritual direction has some similarities to psychological counseling, it must be mentioned that spiritual direction is not therapy. Psychological counseling helps us to look at those areas of our lives that are problematic and helps us to engage in behavior that is healthier and more adaptive. Though our relationship with God can play a part in psychological counseling, it is not the focus; whereas in spiritual direction, everything in our lives is looked at in the context of our relationship with God.
How do we find a good spiritual director? Oftentimes the same way that we would find a good dentist or doctor! – by asking someone we trust to recommend a good spiritual director. Spiritual directors can be married or religious, ordained or lay, and can come from a variety of faith traditions. Though a degree in theology may be helpful, it is not crucial for a good spiritual director to have one. What is important is that a director be actively engaged in his/her own faith journey and that he/she has a listening heart.
Once we’ve made the decision to seek spiritual direction and have set up an appointment with a director, we then have to see if that person is a good “fit” for us. We may have certain life experiences that a particular director doesn’t share, and that might make it difficult for that person to relate to us in the best way possible. It is helpful if the spiritual director shares with us in the beginning of the direction relationship his or her own particular focus to help us decide if that person is right for us. For example, some spiritual directors are especially adept at walking with another through the experience of separation/divorce. Some directors are skilled in the art of Centering Prayer, while others are versed in Ignatian spirituality. Conversely, a good spiritual director will seek to find out what our particular goals for spiritual direction are to see if he or she can help us to meet those goals.
How often do we see a spiritual director? Again, the frequency of meetings between director and directee is determined by our goals for spiritual direction and by our schedules. Some people find it helpful to see their spiritual director on a bi-weekly basis, others on a monthly basis. The frequency of the spiritual direction sessions plus whatever stipend is charged are also considerations to be made early in the direction relationship.
Resources that can help us in the search for a spiritual director are many. The various retreat centers around St. Louis have spiritual directors available for direction or can recommend a good spiritual director. On a global scale, the organization Spiritual Directors International regularly updates their Seek and Find Guide which lists spiritual directors from all over the world. Lastly, below is a link to a list of St. Louis area spiritual directors that can be a helpful resource for those wanting to find a spiritual director in St. Louis.