September 19: Seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost
The gospel readings from the past several Sundays have all been about what it means to single-heartedly devote ourselves to following God. In these readings, Jesus has said God isn’t picky about who follows him – because God is infinitely compassionate, God accepts everyone, even the worst kinds of sinners. In these readings, Jesus has also warned about not letting our attachments to material goods get in the way of following God; that we must be absolutely passionate in our desire for intimacy with God and not let anything else, especially the pursuit of wealth, obstruct our pursuit of oneness with God.
I do not have very much wealth, nor do I think I am extremely attached to material goods, but I’m sure I let a lot of other things get in the way of my intimacy with God. My experience has been, however, that life has a way of showing me my “disordered desires”(to use a phrase by St. Augustine), and my response to these revelations has everything to do with whether I experience inner peace, or not.
Right now, I am in the midst of a job transition, and choosing to single-heartedly follow God in the midst of this transition means learning how to trust. I do not like change, nor I do not adapt well to it, and so that I don’t let my antipathy toward the disruption in my outer environment get in the way of following God, I must ask for the grace to go with the flow. I must ask for the grace to be open to new relationships, new ways of doing things, new ways of relating and being. I am not always successful in accepting this grace, and often I am resistant to the growth that this job change will bring.
But I believe that God is a God of goodness and hope, and that God only desires wholeness and fullness of life for me. It is my belief in God’ faithfulness to me that helps me try to be open to whatever the future may bring, even though there are days I complain mightily to God about the changes in my life. It also helps to look back at other transitions I have made, and to remember the blessings that have resulted from each of those transitions.
Mostly I ask for the grace to remember that God is always with me, taking every step I do, encouraging me, sustaining me, and loving me. What more could I ask?
Bless you for this. Am having to retire early as I have prostate cancer. Am not relishing the permanence of ordinariness. I pray God has something else planned after He has brought me through this.
I will pray for you too, Robin!